He’s not a tame lion.

I came across this quote earlier this week:

quote

It’s amazing how easy it is to focus on all the things that haven’t gone according to my plans.

My husband’s season of unemployment, a baby on the way, the death of my sister. It’s so easy to become discouraged and give up. I’ve even felt like walking away from God.

And yet, I keep feeling that God isn’t completely vacant from my life, that he’s working on something and just hasn’t revealed it to me. It’s frustrating to me, but perhaps that’s exactly what he is working on. I am not as humble as I would like to think. It’s hard to be dependent on Him alone. I wish we didn’t have to depend on others to provide for our financial needs right now. I wish we could bring a baby into the world without having to depend on the government for medical care. I wish we could just buy groceries and not worry about picking up the wrong size  loaf of bread or brand of milk.

I become so focused on my own ability to meet my expectations of what things should be like, that I lose sight of any sense of eternal meaning.

My husband taught Sunday School on the book of Job this spring. He kept encouraging me to go back and read the book, and I kept saying I didn’t need to. I’d already read it and didn’t think there was much else I could glean from it. Uh, I sense the pride in that thought process, don’t you?

I finally picked it up this evening.

All my questions to God, all of my ranting, all of my hurts…and this passage at the end of the book was like a blinking neon sign.

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 
Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you will make it known to me.’
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you,
therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”
Job 42:1-6


Honestly, I’ve felt that God is trying to take away everything that is important to me. And it feels like he hasn’t left anything for me to hold on to – but that’s just it!

Take everything away, and He’s all that’s left.

I know that in my head, but it’s something I must learn to know in my heart. And it’s a lot harder to actually walk this path. I feel as if I have failed this test, but maybe it’s not so much of a test as it is pruning for the sake of growth.

I just read a book called Where Lilacs Still Bloom, and the main character has to save her garden of specially bred lilacs from a flood by removing them from the soil and putting them on rafts tied up in trees. Someone asks her if doing so will kill the flowers. She replied no, it wouldn’t.

“It will stress them, but it will save them.”

Now that’s a spot on spiritual analogy, if I’ve ever seen one. There are reasons beyond my comprehension for our circumstances, and while I would like to know what those reasons are, the point is not to figure that out. The point is learning to trust. And God is a refuge. He is a shelter in the middle of the storm, even when it feels like He’s not safe.

After all, “He’s not a tame lion, but he is good.”

That’s encouraging to me.

I’m linking up to Worshiping Wednesday, a weekly worship post hosted by my friend Tori.

worshiping

7 comments:

  1. I loved this, I'm so glad you came across my link up! This is really beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Baby girl, I am SO proud of you! I love you with all my heart and am praying for y'all. God is good all the time and he will bring you out of this...eventually :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. As I read this I was unable to kept from tearing up. I will be praying for you and your family during this hard time. But praising God as you chose to draw closer to Christ.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a wonderful post, glad your mom put this link on her FB, BTW you have a precious mother, (like you didn't already know that LOL). We met through the Overcoming Through Time With God's Help blog.

    I just want to encourage you to keep trusting God, He knows why you are going through so much right now, He does have a plan for your lives and He will fulfill it according to His will. I love the story of Job and how in everything he went through HE NEVER GAVE UP, he might have questioned WHY but he never gave up trusting God. My favorite verse is Chapter 13 Verse 15a " Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" That is a powerful statement and I hope one day I will be there with Job!

    I will be praying for you and your family, one last thought...IF GOD HAS BROUGHT YOU TO IT....HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Taylor, holding back tears. This is so beautiful...you are incredible. I love how honest you are about bringing your heart before Him and sharing it with all of us. I so wish that you were close and that I could give you a big huge hug and spend an afternoon sharing a few cups of coffee with you. I love you, friend! Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Taylor,

    Your comment that God "is not a tame lion" reminds me of C.S. Lewis' _Chronicles of Narnia_. God's love for us is fierce. Anyway, I went through a similar experience in 2001, where I had a complete financial collapse and lost everything. I know that it doesn't seem as though God is near when you are blind with fear and pain--but He is. I know it doesn't always help when people say that God will get you through it--you can't see that yet--but He will. People always say that He will work it out for good and that He will not give you more than you can handle--and that is true. We tell you all of the scripture that will give you hope to help you endure the trial--and the Word of God is powerful and will nurish your soul. But the only thing that will really help is if you through your arms around your Father and cling to Him. If you surrender 100% and seek Him first, you will KNOW without a doubt that He is God. Give Him everything--the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty, the anger and frustration. Seek Him with ALL of your heart, with every fiber of your being, with every thought, with every breath--and you will KNOW that He is God. That is all that really matters. He will solve everything else if you love Him with all of your heart, mind and strength. Surrender. I don't know if music ministers to you, but I was watching GMC channel the other day and a music video came on for Tenth Avenue North--a Christian group I had not heard before. I listened to many of their songs last night on YouTube and found this one: Hold my Heart. Here's the link: http://mamajavacrafts.blogspot.com/2012/06/hes-not-tame-lion.html Let God hold your heart.
    Kathy (your mother's cousin).

    ReplyDelete
  7. Eph 3:20-21 "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Now, if you stand up when you read this, and you take one jump for exceedingly, another jump for abundantly, and another 2 jumps for 'above all', you are 4 jumps further than your wildest imagination can think of the good things God has planned for you. I will pray for you guys daily. Particularly YOU mamma, who feels you have to hold it all together for all those men who depend on you, even when you aren't sure what's holding YOU all together. You are an inspiring testimony and light of His love and either you or your Mom just shoot me an email if there's anything we can do to help.

    ReplyDelete

.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATE BY DESIGNER BLOGS